This has been an interesting week for me journey wise. Overall, I have lost about 2 kilos in the last week, a huge departure from the previous weeks. This also coincided with a return to hunger, and the return of “soft foods.” That means that the biggest weight I have right now is the the weight of my own thoughts.
Of course, the sudden change of the situation, weight is not falling off, appetite is back, and all that weighs heavy on my mind. I am not where I want to be. I am at least 10 kilos from where my Doctor wants to see me, and I wouldn’t mind a little bit more in terms of weight loss myself. So, then I worry I am starting to eat too much, or my body is furiously trying to pack on the weight with everything I eat.
In this worry, I downloaded the loved/hated My Fitness Pal app. One of the things I love about it is the recipes and the ability to create your own recipes (especially since I need to start making food a lot more anyhow). So, I have put in my recipe of guacamole (the main thing I have eaten in the last week… good thing I am loving it), and luckily, I am still under the limited calories… which is still under 1,000 a day… but I am still just not losing that much weight. In looking at everything I ate in the last week, I am still under where I should be and not losing weight as quickly, so I am not sure why the hold up.
I did find that on Saturday, I did start to snack a bit while away for the weekend. I would have a bite here and a bite there of my guacamole, but I would eat every couple of hours. By Saturday night, I knew this was a bad move on my part, but it was a good reminder to myself for the future. On Sunday, I was back on the normal eating schedule, and it felt much better overall, and today, I am completely back on it.
I think this week is the beginning of walking and stepping up the exercise. I think that will start help thing. The only thing I worry about it that I start the exercise/hunger/binge/regret mode, so I will need to be cleared eyed about that.
This week is the final week of a non-standard diet. In many ways this is the end of the easy part. Right now, my food is very limited but after next week, basically everything* is open to me, and it will require a lot more self-discipline than the last few weeks. Being able to eat not soft food/blended is going to be wonderful, but I do worry that the backslide will begin at that point. “But that is what the surgery is for, to stop you from gorging yourself”
I hope so. I worry all the time with how much I am eating, but compared to before, it is nothing. So I need to keep that in mind. But for now, I will eat my 8oz of Guacamole twice a day, and drinking my 1.5 liters of Lemon water and keep looking up.
*By everything I mean within reason, there are some foods that are permanently off forever… or mostly forever.