It have had a hard time updating you on “The Journey” today. I initially wanted to give a quick update, and then talk about a party I am planning to go to tomorrow… but it felt…. rather forced. It also betrays how I feel right now… which is complicated. So instead of that, I am just going to talk about what is going on.
This week has been a bit rougher than I had hoped. The Pureed diet has worn out its welcome, and I am actively hating food in my life right now. The smell of food in general makes me retch, which is not a fun feeling (or emotion). Smelling my pureed food does not make me look forward to food, and makes me less hungry than I already am. I am still not “hungry” but my stomach will have pain from time to time, usually it is nausea. It settled, and flares up later, but I have been managing it well.
The weight has stopped dropping off. 4 days at the same weight, despite being rigorous on my calorie intake (as instructed by my doctor). This is slightly frustrating, and I wonder if I have hit my floor for the procedure (I have lost more than they said I would anyhow), so to me, that just says it is the end of the easy weight. It has happened a bit earlier than I hoped, but that just means I need to look towards the next step.
Despite this mini-setback (is it a setback, or is it just the procedure?) I am planning on going out tomorrow for the first time since the Surgery. I am nervous about it, but I feel it is needed, with the weight loss, I have been itching to get out at least once, and here is my chance. I just hope it goes over well. But with my stomach being kinda all over the place, and not drinking alcohol, or any fizzy drinks, and being only on water may dampen the mood a bit, but I think going out for a few hours will do me pretty well. A followup post about self-esteem will be inbound.
Overall, I give this week a C. I have been pretty blah emotionally (partially due to the constant rain here in Auckland), and the food situation has become a chore and not a pleasure. I am looking forward to the party tomorrow, but I am also worried about my lack of weight loss for the past 4 days, and hope it is all temporary. The good side is that I am fitting into more things, and I have dropped a pants size (almost 2), so that is exciting. I am looking ahead to soft foods week, but honestly, right now, not thinking about food is the best right now.