The Journey, Update

Today marks three weeks since the surgery, and things are going… pretty good.

Some random thoughts as I put together this update.

– I hesitate because there are a lot of things going on, that while, I know it is the process, it is stuff that weighs on me.

– I am still not feeling hungry. In asking a bariatric support group, this is not unusual, but it is still a big difference for me. The change from eating a lot, to eating hardly anything at all still makes me wonder when when people bring it up. Gone are the conversations of “when to eat” or “how much to eat.” Now it is “Am I hungry? Not really, try again later.” and off I go.

– Today, my weigh in puts me at 29 Kilos/63 pounds lost in the last 5 weeks. This averages out to about 6kgs a week, which is pretty nifty. At this point, the studies say I should even out in terms of weight, but my doctor wants me to lose another 10kgs/22pounds. And honestly, I would like that too. I am now in the range where I can start walking again, and I think that will help speed things up (though I know that the hunger may return as a result). I do have a lot of worry that by starting exercise, it will begin the issue I always run into. Exercising=hunger=eating=more eating=gain weight=fail.

– On the eating front, it is still a struggle. Without the feeling of hunger, I almost feel… nauseous(?) when I consider food? When I think about eating, there is no joy, or want, or need right now, so I just… don’t. Mentally, I know I should likely eat more, but if my body is not telling me, and my mind is ok with not eating, I am just not eating… I hope that is alright for the long term.

Water is getting boring. I drink water pretty much constantly, and it is starting to get to me. The problem though, is that I dislike the powders people put in to spice things up. Though, that being said, I ma get the husband to bring in some lemons… that could help a bit. I have however, moved onto ice, which I have to say is a LIFESAVER. I love ice, and having cold water again is wonderful.

Overall, feel that I am doing alright. I am talking through my food feelings, which is good, and I am a bit nervous that no hunger has come back, but I suspect it will in time. I am going to start walking more regularly now that I have lost more weight, but I am still a bit apprehensive.

I have some things rattling around in terms of my self-confidence, and my place in the Bear Scene, those will be coming this week, but until then, have a good day, and hope you are all well.








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