So, it is Saturday. Bailey woke me up at 5:45 this morning, as is her schedule, and I dutifully got up, fed her, watered her, and took her out (to the balcony), after which, I dozed briefly, played around with her, and then wrote my politics post.
Afterwards, I played some WoW while playing with Bailey. Now, I am an infrequent player of WoW, and I was playing this morning because I didn’t want to play a game competitively on a Saturday morning. It was nice to play, but not something on my usual rotation. (I think I am waiting for Horizon Dawn Zero)
The husband got up, and around 1pm, I was tired and decided to take a nap.
I dreamed that I we had a new house, by some water, and with that house was a new job for me. I got to the job for my first day, and there were others. Mostly people I didn’t know, and a few people I did know. The day was long and we were rearranged at work (I had a corner cubicle), but as these things do, it went long. There were other things that are a bit hazy, as Dreams often are. I had stepped away, wishing I could go home, when they offered us dinner.
I got in line, and was last. and finally, I got a paper plate (Actually, two plates, for better structural integrity). I was looking and realised that the food was mostly breakfast food. Soon, I found that I had Grilled Cheese, French Toast, Bacon, Eggs, and then… I saw Biscuits and Gravy, the holy grail of Breakfast food for me, since it is not really a thing here in New Zealand, and it made me really excited. I made space on my plate and slathered the stuff on, and finally, I wanted more bacon, so I filled it up on top.
I went up to the registered (because for some reason I was now buying the food?) and it come up to 25 Dollars, then, a voice (from a college friend no less) goes, “Really WanderingExPat?”
I turned to him and go “Well, I haven’t eaten today, and it is fine.” feeling a bit indignant. I look at the massive plate of food, Which now also had a second plate half-filled with hashbrowns and other breakfast foods. I said again, “it is fine, I have been really good.”
Then it hit me, I can’t have the food. I have been really good because I can’t eat that amount anymore. A startling sadness hit me realizing that I wasn’t even hungry, I was just grabbing food, and suddenly, I woke up. My mouth salivating, and tasting disgusting due to ketosis.
I went out of my bedroom and saw my Husband and recounted the dream. It was really, for a lack of words… confronting. He said “in 4 weeks, you will be able to eat those foods again, just less of it.” and he is right, but… what a dream to have. I try my best to not look too much into dreams, but is my sub-conscious way of dealing with this new regime? My downfall has always been portions. Either it is nothing, or too much, and I don’t want to fall back into that cycle. I mean, I woke up and I am not hungry, I don’t think about food nearly as much as I used to, that is eye-opening to think about. But these dreams? I really hope they do not continue, that was not fun.