So, today marks a week since my procedure, and I sit here 21 kgs (46lbs) lighter than I did three weeks ago. That is pretty substantial and crazy to think about. I will talk more about that in another post.
Today, I wanted to talk about the routine of food. As this week went on, and my body relaxed (No Hiccups in days! Thank God!), I began getting back into my routine, only to find it drastically changed. Driving around, I would say to myself “Oh, this is generally where I would stop for something to eat” as I passed by one of my favorite fast food places.
Or if I would go to the gas station, I would turn to the snack aisle and go, “Ok, time to get some fo…. oh wait… never mind.” In fact, I started to notice how often I would immediately go to food as my time filler, or “I just finished my chores” activity. It is a bit jarring to be honest.
When I went down to pick up our new dog Bailey, I realised that because it is a trip to a city I take fairly regularly, I had normal “food stops” on the trip. That was something that really hit home. I would simply drive past, feeling a little… guilty… put out… regret… shame… that I wasn’t stopping? In fact, I only stopped once on the trip there and back (for gas), when I usually stop 2-3 times.
It is interesting to unpack those feelings because normally, it is not something you think about. Overeating had become such a ingrained part of my daily life and I didn’t even notice. And now, as I passed these areas and I wasn’t hungry and realising that I wasn’t likely hungry then either is kinda eye-opening.
At home, things are different still. I am currently on Liquids, (for another week), and I have been subsisting on multivitamins and soups mostly. For soups, I started with a Campbell’s Tomato soup… and it took me 3 days to finish that one can. I am dead serious. How does one live off of a can of soup for three days? I would have basically a cup of it, and then, full. Done. I wouldn’t push myself, but daaaamn, I used to put back two cans of this in a sitting! Is this how normal people eat? What have I been doing for years?!!?
My husband has been quite amazing this week in supporting me. Last night, he was late getting food, and decided to get Pizza, an old standby for us, and being not hungry, I didn’t mind. It was strange however to realise again… how much I ate. The bill was considerably lower, and there were still leftovers… and I think back and realise how much I actually ate and how much money went into overeating.
Of course in a week, I graduate to pureed foods, and after that, soft foods before getting back to “normal” but it is definitely a wake up call to how much I truly ate in one sitting, and how food became such a huge part of my day. It is these things that the procedure kinda opened my eyes too. And honestly, it is a really good thing. In some ways I just wished I had done it sooner.
Until next time!